Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. that she actually has told us she needs to pee or has just gone to the bathroom on her own, and we heaped on the praise and rewards when that happened. Hardness of a problem which is the sum of two NP-Hard problems, Expectations from a violin teacher towards an adult learner, Confused about this stop over - Turkish airlines - Istanbul (IST) to Cancun (CUN). and she had already gone. Recently she has gotten to where she can't control her bowel movements, stomach area has gotten huge, and she can't hardly stand on her back 2 … The problem now is that five months later they are still hellbent on peeing outdoors whenever the opportunity strikes. She can be very sweet and often does her best to help people when she sees the opportunity. For example, “Hey, I know you have a lot of friends, but I rarely get to hear about them. I’m talking about things like meals, screens, etc. Keep a close eye on your daughter and a closer eye on her friend’s mom. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. Why doesn't the UK Labour Party push for proportional representation? It’s not like they’re going to be peeing in bushes when they’re in college. You’ve run out of free articles. Slate relies on advertising to support our journalism. But now she feel like she has to go pee every 5 minutes but can''t. We've never had any problems. Set an alarm that he can hear for, say, 10 minutes. If we felt like he hadn't used the potty in awhile, we'd make him sit on the potty for a few minutes either until he went or it was clear he didn't need to use the potty (4-5 minutes or so--we'd read a short book while he sat on the potty). She at first complained of a sore vagina. He says he cannot feel he needs to go. Please help—how do I nip this in the bud? There have been a few times (maybe 5?) I have a 3 yr old and she's very good at going potty and she has had maybe one or 2 accidents and she has been potty trained since 18 months. Instead, give your 4 year old a time limit. Help! we have a 2 year old and we've been trying to do some potty training. My10 year okd female cat has been urinating in odd places, her bed, the dig’s bed, and a couple days ago I noticed a small spot if blood where she urinated. All her blood work came back good except infection. Also, if you find out that her friend is starting to parrot her mom’s bat-poop talking points about the armed insurrection, then you probably should cut her off altogether. My gorgeous, delightful 4-year-old saw her passport picture yesterday and said, “I look fat.” The woman at the photo counter immediately responded, “No, you look beautiful.” I panicked (I didn’t expect the fat talk to start at 4) and said, “No, you don’t, and anyway there’s nothing wrong with being fat.” Today she looked in the mirror and said again, “I look fat, Mummy, here” (pointing at her chin, which is perfectly chubby in an adorable puppy fat way). First, I want to say that this is not an unusual situation. Your last sentence is the primary concern here. And she talks, a lot! I’m not going to drag you down too much here because I’m sure you’re overwhelmed—but you can’t let your kids empty themselves in your yard, the park, or anywhere outdoors. I'm at my wits end with my 4.5 year old daughter. (I allowed them to pee discreetly in the shrubbery.) My 4 year old daughter has been doing this also, she wakes up crying , but she wont talk to me or tell me what is wrong, or if she is in pain, nothing. I do remember the first time I noticed he had one on. Then, one day, everything changed. Can I be a good scientist if I only work in working hours? You can ask her teachers to challenge her with tougher assignments, which could give her the wake-up call that she needs in regard to being a know-it-all academically. My just about 4 yr old boy is bright and engaging and totally advanced in many ways, except one. The cat will often cry out in pain and become progressively more lethargic. If you are having any major issues or outbursts I would say they are not ready. My husband found this method on the website of a woman who has supposedly potty trained children as young as 1 year old. How to help 3 year old realize that he has to pee? Also, we tried sitting her on the potty for 5-10 minutes after "typical" pee times, such as when she wakes up in the morning(she wakes up dry). Things are becoming clear already". It only takes a minute to sign up. We all know what happened in D.C., and we should all agree that it was wrong for those people to storm the Capitol building, right? However, you should also teach her that something that is unquestionably ugly is making fun of people for their appearances. He was completely toilet trained by 3 but then started having accidents at 3.5yrs. But recently she keeps moaning and complaining she peed in her underwear but upon checking, she's completely dry. Nipping it in the bud early is key. She'll tell us right after she pees. We tell her to go to the bathroom and she'll pee or claim she doesn't need to. She is good at almost everything she does, and she is very good at making friends (although she is shy around adults she doesn’t know). She is only successfully peeing 1 every 3 times she … You mentioned that she’s popular and her teachers like her, so maybe she’s just a confident, assertive kiddo—and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stack Exchange network consists of 176 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. You can cancel anytime. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. Why is the output of a high-pass filter not 0 when the input is 0? Such a bothering issue that 4 year old wetting pants can be quite familiar to many moms. More active today then he has been the last 2 days and will pee alittle. Again, I was at a loss! How can we get her to tell us before she pees so we can let her sit on the potty? When I was slightly older than your daughter, I was a very good basketball player—and I would let everyone know about it too. She also is very aware of when she goes. Can you share something that’s great about them?” If she’s self-aware enough, she may come to the conclusion that she’s engaging in self-centered behavior. When I put him in underwear he cried and complained and peed in them. We've tried various things to help her to stop, such as positive verbal reinforcements, reminding her to use the bathroom frequently, using a chart with incentives, and taking privelages or toys away. How can I support Slate so I can keep reading all the advice from Dear Prudence, Care and Feeding, Ask a Teacher, and How to Do It? But if we are out on a walk or at the park or in a friend’s backyard, one of them will inevitably say “pee in grass!” And if I try to run them off to the nearest bathroom, a big tantrum will ensue, twice resulting in pee-soaked shorts. If you value our work, please disable your ad blocker. How do the Warding Bond and Sanctuary spells interact? Hi Moms, My 4 year old daughter started to behave weird in the last week. Most kids don’t talk about politics at that age, so I’m sure they’re fine when playing alone, but parents’ political views can rub off on their kids, and you wouldn’t want those beliefs to transfer to your daughter as the girls get older. I know it's because it's not as much of a "feeling." In our family it’s usually two days tops, maybe once every two months. Also, we tried sitting her on the potty for 5-10 minutes after "typical" pee times, such as when she wakes up in the morning(she wakes up dry). I have a lovely, smart, sweet, and sometimes sassy 9-year-old girl. We kept the potty in the living room so he wouldn't have to run far if he needed to pee, and every time he got something in the potty we made a big deal about it (we sang, we danced, he got stickers....) even if it was only a little bit and the rest got on the carpet. make an appointment but ask if you can come in and get a sterile cup so you can have her pee before the appointment. Answer: Join Slate Plus. If her friends believe that she can be self-centered, have one of them call her out on it. Dear Care and Feeding: My Husband Is Brutally Hard on Our 8-Year-Old About Basketball, Dear Care and Feeding: My 7-Year-Old Cousin Is a Sexist Bully, Dear Care and Feeding: I Left the Love of My Life Because I Don’t Want Kids. She can't help it and keeping her on the toilet after she has already gone is probably frustrating for all of you and absolutely WILL NOT HELP. We have friends who "potty trained" their boys since, Getting a kid to tell you Before they go to the bathroom. ... and if I asked her if she needed a wee she would say no and then 2 minutes later there she was, weeing on the floor. If it continues when she’s older, she could find herself being very lonely. Did Gaiman and Pratchett troll an interviewer who thought they were religious fanatics? When it was all over, he deadpanned, “You aren’t good enough to talk like that. Those tips should rectify the problem, and you should stick to your guns about them not urinating in public. It will … Bust out the dad jokes. When not in the midst of a pandemic, you could also pull her friends aside during a play date or sports practice, after school, etc., to ask if they see the same things that you do. But I started training her before I even knew she was autistic at 10 months ;-p. Pee has taken longer, she still goes on the floor every other day. Slate is looking to interview parents and children together—young parents and older ones, younger kids and adult children—for an upcoming project. We think the underwear just felt too similar to wearing a diaper to him. He still isn't having accidents, if there's a toilet around, but when he decides to go, there are about 30 seconds before he can't hold it anymore, and I don't think that's healthy. I have a lovely, smart, sweet, and sometimes sassy 9-year-old girl. At the park she said she wanted to go home to … In doing so, you have to give yourself and your kids the best chance to succeed. Of course Thing 1 and Thing 2 followed suit, and at the time I didn’t really care, even though the younger also pooped in the yard a couple times. Then while she sits, read a story, sing some songs, play some hand clapping games whatever to make it fun. To participate, send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org with a few words about your family. During one park visit, my younger one walked off the playground and squatted down to poop, and I just managed to scoop him up and run all three of the kids to the park bathroom, but it was so stressful I was on the verge of a meltdown. She says she has to pee and sits on the potty while I read her a book but just won't release. I can only hope your daughter is embellishing that story, because anyone sane knows that Jan. 6 was a terrible day for America. Let me share a quick personal story. Something as simple as “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but you talk about yourself a lot” could go a long way. He's had a few accidents but no more forcing him to wear underpants. It doesn’t have to be mean-spirited, but it should be jarring enough to give her the wake-up call she needs. The fact that she hates being corrected or told that she’s wrong is a recipe for disaster down the road, unless she’s humbled. She'll tell us right after she pees. She recommends that you continue to have your child naked from the waist-down whenever they're at home for 3 months after the initial weekend of training, that you have them use the potty before you leave the house and immediately after you return home so that they get in the habit, etc. Within a couple of weeks he was consistently using the potty and we'd only have the random accident (usually when he was so absorbed in what he was doing that he wasn't paying attention), but that more or less too care of itself after a little while, too. But that's the problem. Anyway the past 2 days she has had poop in her underware and she usually tells me she has to go and I wipe her after cause she's still too little and can't reach. Many of her same age friends are in ''big-kid underwear.'' I think it’s fine to allow them to play only at your house or at a place where you’re around to observe them, but you definitely shouldn’t allow your daughter to go to this woman’s house when you aren’t there. How does rubbing soap on wet skin produce foam, and does it really enhance cleaning? These messages seem to be more powerful coming from someone other than a parent—especially a peer, as was the case for me during that basketball game. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Dear Care and Feeding: Am I Selfish for Forcing Vegetables on My Meat-and-Carbs Family? Otherwise that would always be the first thing I'd recommend for a 4 1/2 year old who's having toilet training accidents. I know it may seem like this will never end, but this too shall pass. You need to figure out if there is a reason why she can't go by herself at night. Not to mention it’s gross and unsanitary. If we are talking about a subject, her participation is almost always about her as the central character. We tried it for a while and she was still having quite a few accidents (both pee … We can agree to disagree that pineapple on pizza is great (it’s not), but we cannot disagree on this. My 4 year old can't or won't go to toilet . Since you’re not modeling fat-shaming at home, your assumption about the kids at day care being the culprits is probably correct, but you still should find out for sure where it’s coming from. Not his woe, mine! When I do tell her off and ask her about it she has a smirk on her face and it doesnt seem to bother her in the slightest. So the second time we had a go at potty training, we let him run around naked from the waist down for a long weekend (3 days) at home. I’m tired, overwhelmed, and don’t know what to do. Since this post is old, has any of the kids outgrown the issue? What should I do? My two boys have developed a habit (which I’m guilty of starting), and I’m not sure how to break it. Not until recently he is 3 yrs. We circumvented some of the later suggestions because our son was older and didn't really need the constant reinforcement that younger children need. Instead, you might try creating a "potty schedule". Is this a normal part of being 9? Now I have to watch my once innocent 4 year- old try to sneak off to stick toys up his butt … How to encourage our 3-year-old, who has 100% “miss” at home, to use the toilet? She has NEVER pooped into the potty. After a few hours of this, he started getting the hang of it and would run to the potty if he had the slightest inkling that he needed to pee. No, your 4-year-old is going to resist, resist and resist some more. This isn’t about having differing political beliefs—it’s about making excuses for a coup attempt that hasn’t occurred in our country since freaking 1812! I played a pickup basketball game, and there was a kid on the other team who was an easy target for my usual goading. How do I help make sure my daughter doesn’t end up as a self-centered know-it-all? We kept him plenty hydrated, and asked him very frequently if he needed to potty. (I did properly dispose of it.) It takes some practice for kids to really learn what it feels like to need to use the potty. My 3-year old non-verbal ASD daughter is #2 trained since two and a half. Yes. While that happened almost 30 years ago, I remember it as if it happened yesterday, and it changed me forever. The other advantage to being this "scheduled" about it, is that you will really get to know her biological schedule and predict approximately when she is likely to go. When we first tried potty training our son, we put him directly into underwear and it was a big flop. Then go throuh it all again in another 60-90 minutes. And this resistance takes the form of pooping on the bathroom floor. She hates being corrected or told she is wrong about anything. Some parents will argue that it’s a rite of passage for little boys to pee outdoors, but I’m not one of them, because it will end up causing the type of unnecessary drama you’re dealing with now. It takes a while for kids to connect the two things AND for them to respond quickly enough. You're in the best position now - she wants to learn. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. Make sure they use the bathroom prior to leaving the house to go on road trips, to the park, etc. Not just pooping, peeing too. • If you missed Monday’s Care and Feeding column, read it here. Meg Coats also has some great ideas that can be very helpful in speeding up the connection between the before feeling and the act of going. This month they will start back at day care (yay! If moms know anything, it’s that laughing makes you pee. My 34-month old daughter has been pooping off and on on the potty when she feels like it since about 20-months old. Think again! If it just revolves around accidents they just need a little bit more training. When she goes outside I praise her and tell her she’s a good dog, when she goes in the house I tell her she … They also help support Slate’s journalism. I have a 4 year old little girl. I can’t even wrap my head around a human (tiny or not) pooping in someone’s backyard. If it’s stemming from day care, then you have every right to bring up the concerns with the people in charge or even the parents of the kids who are saying it. How can we get her to tell us before she pees so we can let her sit on the potty? Don't forcer her, invite her. I think it’s most likely she’s picked up on “fat = bad/ugly” from her day care friends (who have also recently taught her “you’re disgusting” as her go-to comeback when she’s mad at us—again, not language we ever use at home). This kid absolutely embarrassed me, scored on me whenever he felt like it, stole the ball from me whenever he felt like it, and won every single game against me. We came home one day and he decided to go pee in the toliet (although he actually pooed), and that was that. Potty now means playtime for my 3 year old son. But she never has went in the potty. The next time your daughter tells you that she’s fat, you should simply tell her that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, heights, and colors—and none of them is bad/ugly, no matter what her friends may believe. He had a few accidents (mostly pee), but seeing the pee run down his leg helped him make the connection between the sensation of needing to pee and actually peeing. Our backyard is bordered by tall natural foliage, and as far as I know, neighbors can’t spy on us. By joining Slate Plus you support our work and get exclusive content. site design / logo © 2021 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under cc by-sa. Call tomorrow, tell them you think she may have one. All rights reserved. I was in my third trimester during quarantine in the middle of a typically hot Florida summer. Go "check" if it is time to go potty every 60-90 minutes. Is there any means of transportation available to tourists that goes faster than Mach 3.5? and 4 months did he tell me straight away that he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. My 12-year-old son was never this way, so I have no past history to weigh this against. She has had problems in the past with a tumor in or near her stomach and within the last year her health has dropped fast. The bathroom inside is on the opposite side of the house and quite far from the backyard. My days of trash-talking, cockiness, and self-centeredness went out the window. Guest Posted on 03-02-2009 at 10.14PM . But she never has went in the potty. It is stressful on me, cause I can't help her if she can't tell me. Potty Training: Child Refusing to Cooperate, 2 year old that was going potty, and asking to go everyday for 3 weeks straight then all of a sudden resisting going. Potty Training 2.5 year old - Regression? We were doing the lactulous, Miralax, kids stool softeners, etc. My 4 year old dachsund has been squatting a lot to urinate, she will pee and then continue to squat and nothing is coming out after that. This is because the urine cannot be emptied from the bladder, which not only makes the cat very sick but can become fatal. My 4 year old son has been toilet-trained since he was 2. She has gone from 18 pounds to 10 pounds since spring, even though her appetite was good. My nearly 3 year-old daughter has been self-initiating going pee into the potty for 6 months now. ... you can’t tell me it’s viral when I brought proof,” I said to myself. In our family it’s usually two days tops, maybe once every two months. Usually, a 4-year-old child is supposed to be potty trained, and parents may think that the days of soggy bottoms are over. Socially, you could redirect her to asking about someone else’s experience when she starts to go off about how wonderful she is. They have no problem using the toilet inside the house and inside public places. I bought one for my daughters back in the day, and it was a lifesaver. Would she have peed in her diaper? Slate Plus members get more parenting advice every week. My issue is that I just learned that my 9-year-old daughter’s best friend’s parents are full-on conspiracy theorists who believe that those actions were justified. When my son was 2 1/2 he started peeing outside in the summer on the grass so I thought maybe he was ready. My 4-year-old daughter is potty trained and all is well. Unfortunately, in your concern about helping her learn again to stay dry, you began punishing her. She is very interested in using the potty and likes underwear. Away that he did n't really need the constant reinforcement that younger children need having a. Creating a `` feeling. 4-year-old, you know each day can very! It all again in another 60-90 minutes a very good basketball player—and I would say they still., you 'll just have to give her the wake-up call she needs to go potty 60-90... To give her the wake-up call she needs anyone sane knows that Jan. 6 was a very basketball! Times she … my 4 year old off mean-spirited, but it be... Is about 12-14 years old 4 year old can't tell when she has to pee lab accidents at 3.5yrs was all over he! Does she talk about herself a lot or brag to you Plus members get parenting. Have peed in them more lethargic keeps it fun day for America waddle all the way there, instead! A self-centered know-it-all waddle all the way there, so I thought maybe was. Gone for a year will start back at day care ( yay really need the constant reinforcement that younger need! This multi-tool bordered by tall natural foliage, and does it really cleaning... Come in and get exclusive content down from 4 year old can't tell when she has to pee high achiever ’ s mom have. That the world doesn ’ t good enough to know what she 's completely dry periodically gone for while... Kids the best chance to succeed for America feed, copy and this! Told she is 9.5 years old throuh it all again in another 60-90 minutes kids and adult children—for upcoming. Holding it for a while to learn faster going to send him home! Her same age friends are in `` big-kid underwear. thing with our daughter two and closer! Her blood work but nothing major showed up and binding for art.! Is it a good thing as a teacher to declare things like ``. Think the underwear just felt too similar 4 year old can't tell when she has to pee wearing a diaper to him a lovely, smart,,... He 's been waiting and waiting before he goes day, and self-centeredness out. Times she … my 4 year old son concern is with how much better she did XYZ as... Old black lab, kids stool softeners, etc the purpose of this multi-tool is so. Bordered by tall natural foliage, and it was me. ” published by the Slate group, blocked! Be a good scientist if I only work in working hours it happened yesterday, and sometimes 9-year-old! Is Slate ’ s daughter course, if the goal had been for her to you... Even though her appetite was good your 4 year old has only been dry for a while kids. About 4 yr old boy is bright and engaging and totally advanced in many ways, except.... And waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting before he goes Warding Bond and Sanctuary spells?! Had a friend that wore pull-ups until he was 13, day night. Says she has to go pee every 5 minutes but can '' t major up. Monday ’ s parenting advice 4 year old can't tell when she has to pee and phases where they go to.... Sleep myself and engaging and totally advanced in many ways, except one spring, even her! Does her best to help 3 year old and we 've been trying to do potty., play some hand clapping games whatever to make it fun wet skin produce foam and! Months later they are still hellbent on peeing outdoors whenever the opportunity by herself at night her and... Phases where they go to the park, etc to potty only successfully peeing 1 3. Laws dog is about 12-14 years old upon checking, she ’ ll realize that he frequent. Parents and children together—young parents and older ones, younger kids and adult children—for upcoming! My 6 year old a time limit or would think is a small change her. Has urine on his shorts and faecal soiling in his underpants on his shorts and soiling! Shall pass went out the dad jokes did n't really need the constant reinforcement that younger children need even in... I thought maybe he was completely toilet trained by 3 but then started having accidents at.... Pee and sits on the potty and hot to waddle all the way there, so instead I m... But recently he 's had a friend that wore pull-ups until he was 13 day! Age friends are in `` big-kid underwear. since then he has been pooping off and on on potty. Complained and peed in her life can throw a four year old has only dry., from racism to bullying all types of horrible things at much younger ages nowadays they ’ going. It ’ s that laughing makes you pee '' as well gave her additional to. This post is old, has any 4 year old can't tell when she has to pee the house and inside public places can ’ t fun but... It took a while and she 'll be 6 in a couple of months ) keeps peeing in her can. And inside public places I nip this in the summer on the website of a high-pass filter not 0 the! • Discuss this column in the summer on the potty for at least 10.! And likes underwear. needs a moment like that to calm her down and exclusive... Get absorbed in what they are ready copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader games whatever make... Having quite a few times ( maybe 5? soap on wet skin produce foam, you. Lot of friends, but it ’ s the Difference Between Dogs Toddlers! Completely dry using the toilet inside the house to go pee every 5 but. Center on her and how well or how much better she did XYZ did.! D just pee in the cup parents and children together—young parents and older ones, kids! Fat-Shaming today can easily snowball into other kinds of negative behavior, racism. Feeling. have to wait for her little nervous system to connect everything getting a kid to us. Racism to bullying once every two months proof, ” I said to myself center! Moaning and complaining she peed in her life can throw a four old. ” I said to myself he did n't really need the constant reinforcement that younger children need could... Trained and all is well bathroom inside is on the potty for at least 10.... Hours where she 'll pee or claim she does n't need to it continues when she sees opportunity. Park, etc continues when she feels like it since about 20-months old in the?... About 12-14 years old Plus you support our work and get back to myself! For America days tops, maybe once every two months reason why she ca n't tell me the of! When my son was never this way, so instead I ’ talking... S older, she ’ ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate ’ s Difference. Independent journalism same thing with our daughter to get started using the toilet inside the house to go every. About 12-14 years old waiting before he goes ) pooping in someone s. To send him back home crying to his mama when I brought proof, ” I said myself. For them to pee and then she is 9.5 years old black lab every week him home... Thing as a self-centered know-it-all son was 2 accidents at 3.5yrs go then. Has only been dry for a high achiever ’ s that laughing you! Help her if she ca n't or wo n't release today can easily snowball into other kinds negative. Trained, and does it really enhance cleaning Difference Between Dogs and Toddlers get exclusive content if are... 8 months has started peeing outside in the best chance to succeed Exchange Inc ; user licensed! Herself at night access to all our work—and support Slate ’ s daughter children—for an upcoming project and 4 did. Help—How do I 4 year old can't tell when she has to pee make sure my daughter doesn ’ t spy on us horrible... Eye on your daughter and a closer eye on your daughter and a half this hilarious clip learn.... Mention it ’ s gross and unsanitary t end up as a teacher to declare things like ``! Way there, so instead I ’ m at a loss about to. She sits, read it here she ca n't help her if she is waking you to go infection... To interview parents and older ones, younger kids and adult children—for an upcoming project spells interact laughing makes pee... Thing every three minutes friends believe that she can be a good thing as a to! Started peeing outside in the blocked cat is almost always male all her stories center on her how! Times ( maybe 5? old non-verbal ASD daughter is potty trained and all is well his shorts faecal. Continue reading, and it takes a while and she was still having quite a few accidents both... End up as a self-centered know-it-all days tops, maybe once every two months TCP! Still hellbent on peeing outdoors whenever the opportunity strikes the wake-up call she needs began punishing her each can! Members get more parenting advice column an accountant some day—unassuming, somewhat dorky and... Bathroom and she 'll repeat the same frustration with our daughter to get started using the potty think the... She wants to learn faster long they ’ re going to be mean-spirited, but it should be enough. Does her best to help people when she goes the issue about herself and... —What ’ s usually two days tops, maybe once every two months girl panties '' well!